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Old 22-04-2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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Keanaz's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat name: Rib Tastic
Boat make: Cobra Rib Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Marina 225, Yam70 (x2) & Stinger 75
Cruising area: South West

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 703
Actual Passport Letter-----hilarious!

Jan Weston
4 Corinthian Close
Hatch Warren
Basingstoke
RG22 4TN
01256 358932
07722 840681
This, apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport
Office.


Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-*******-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ******* address!!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last ******* people I'd want to tell!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another ******* copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic ****in' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ******* PAKISTAN !
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Old 22-04-2012, 03:30 PM   #2
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Country: Spain
Location: Mallorca
Occupation: Retired
Interests: Boats, boats and boats
Boat name: Patriot and Forca
Boat make: Phantom 21. Falcon Bonito 36
Engines: 200hp Mariner. 2 x GM 6.5 Twin Turbo Diesels
Cruising area: The Med

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Mallorca
Posts: 716
Very good. This should be in the national press. Not that they would take any notice of it.
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