Aircraft Tech Log Entries

[BluFin]

Was going through some of the classics that have been entered in the logs over the years, They still make me grin. Thought I'd share a few.
(P) is the Pilot's entry
(E) Is the Engineer's response.

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(E) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(E) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(E) Evidence removed.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(E) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
(E) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(E) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(E) That's what they're there for.

(P) Number three engine missing.
(E) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(E) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.

(P) Pilot's clock inop.
(E) Wound pilots clock.

(P) #2 ADF needle runs wild.
(E) Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

(P) - Suspected crack in windscreen.
(E) - Suspect you're right.

(P) - Mouse in cockpit.
(E) - Cat installed.

(P) - Ghostly creaking from airstairs
(E) - Airstairs lubricated and exorcised.