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Old 04-01-2010, 10:14 PM   #1
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Diver's Wharf

Dear Mr Boatmad,

I recently had a trip down to the Isle Of Wight (which I am still fully convinced is in another country) to see one beloved Mr Ace of Nudgey Villas, Lavender Terrace, Ryde. On the way down Captain Chaos dropped the Chaosmobile off at Diver's Wharf for safe keeping, where I also met a lovely chap called Mr Tony Davis.

Now I hope you can understand my indignance when, after reaching Diver's Wharf, I realised there wasn't a single piece of Scuba gear in the whole of the aircraft hangar down there. No Oxygen tanks. No masks. No 1930's style diving suits for running the marathon in. No dive computers. No concrete boots. Not one single stripy brightly coloured fish. There wasn't even any trick Diving suits with the bottoms cut out (Chaos's favourite Modus Operandi: "Ere stick this suit on mate....oooh i've dropped me pencil can you pick it up?").

Now ordinarily I wouldn't write such a strongly worded post against something inanimate but I don't want to see other people tricked into going there and feeling as disappointed as I am. I think in actual fact this is a matter for my local trading standards.

Yours Sincerely,

Duke Ian Duke
London
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:19 PM   #2
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Very good Andy,

Its only taken you about 6 weeks to come up with that gag!

been onto facebook recently with your "lovepump" line have we?
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:47 PM   #3
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You told me your bachelor uncle "wandering hands jeff" used to make you wear said diving suit with the bottom cut out and I was never allowed to tell anyone about it.

I'm sorry.
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:50 PM   #4
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it was "wandering hands Jack" ............ get the facts correct tosspot
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:12 PM   #5
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But andy you spelt it wrong
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Old 09-01-2010, 01:10 PM   #6
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11.12pm last night Stu . . . . . . . I'm surprised you were able to come up for air long enough to log in and type sommink on here.

you old romantic you!
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Old 12-01-2010, 05:55 PM   #7
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I think it's very sweet that Ace has found a lady. His usual standard of beehatch is minimum 6 foot tall, has massive hands, love him long time and says "Meester Ess you have split my lectum"

Chaos you are just jealous, last time you got some action Trevor Brooking was still playing your beloved Hammers!
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Old 14-01-2010, 12:54 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Iron Duke View Post
I think it's very sweet that Ace has found a lady. His usual standard of beehatch is minimum 6 foot tall, has massive hands, love him long time and says "Meester Ess you have split my lectum"

He may have found a lady, but he's clearly struggling to find his tackle!
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Old 14-01-2010, 09:59 AM   #9
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Ha ha ha ha. He has no chance with that magnifying glass it's only 3-4x zoom. I suggest he speak to the man in charge of the array at Joddrell Bank.
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