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Old 23-11-2011, 03:43 PM   #1
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Economics explained in simple terms

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go to the pub
for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive with fantastic eyelashes.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans You kill the cows and
make souvlaki You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you
more money You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more
money You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money ......
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Old 23-11-2011, 08:50 PM   #2
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Brilliant!!
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Old 23-11-2011, 09:17 PM   #3
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yeh, that was quite a laugh
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Old 23-11-2011, 09:24 PM   #4
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Excellent! Rather offended we didnt get a mention

Then the lunacy here is probably beyond words!
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Old 23-11-2011, 09:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OCRDA View Post
SOCIALISM


FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....


That's good, I had to put that on facebook to share.
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Old 23-11-2011, 10:43 PM   #6
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[QUOTE=Hydrostream;212224]Excellent! Rather offended we didnt get a mention



Irish Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.
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Old 24-11-2011, 12:22 AM   #7
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[QUOTE=timtap;212231]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydrostream View Post
Excellent! Rather offended we didnt get a mention



Irish Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.
Haha, ok kind of asked for that!
I was less offended being left out, cheers Tim

But Id rather be fed potatoes than the shit this new government is feeding us!
Everythings for sale, Sterling only please!
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Old 24-11-2011, 06:14 PM   #8
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Dutch

What About The Dutch?
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Old 24-11-2011, 06:18 PM   #9
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Guernsey has the 2 best cows in the world, and loads of other people's cows to look after too. People used to travel here to look at our cows but because of all the rich people leaving their cows here and having holiday homes to justify leaving their cows here normal people can't afford to visit anymore. Switzerland is jealous of all our cows and the UK Government like the Swiss more than us and are on a constant mission to f*ck us over lately.
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Old 24-11-2011, 06:40 PM   #10
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Brussel

Its the McBrussel Clan,
home town of the McEU.
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