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Old 16-06-2007, 03:18 PM   #1
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Feck’ Feck’ and Bugger!!

Right… first off don’t ever believe a feckin’ word that the Fat Ginger One… or the Fat Lanky Fecka say.... Period!

“Fancy a bit of off-road biking?”.. says They.. “Yeah, Great! I’m up for it “ Says I… “Righto…take a look at this link and see what you think…”… says They. The link was to the Honda off-road experience which offered a nice gentle bit o’ tuition which…and I think I’m phrasing this correctly.. was..“Suitable for all abilities”.. “Cool” says I.. “let me know where and when.”…

Yesterday was the day… so down to sunny Brighton I go… now I had noticed a strange reticence on the part of the Fat Twins to give me any firm information… just a post code and a price…. Still how hard can it be? I mean… I’ve been riding bikes pretty much continuously for the best part of thirty years… and way back when… road a few trials and did a bit of green laning…


The clue was in the name of the venue… it had the word “Raceway” in the title… now I was beginning to feel a tad uncomfortable as I drove down toward the venue….. Feck!! My suspicions were confirmed when I rounded the corner to view a full on Moto-X track…..

Double feck!! “How do I get my money back, feign illness and slope off”… thought I. I tell you, if I hadn’t driven all the feckin’ way down to Brighton and paid a deposit… I’d have been out of there faster than the conrod through the block of an over-revved race engine… “Hang on a bit” thinks I….. “Gingerbolix has paid the deposit… right! I’m off!” Unfortunately as I’m creeping away in the still of the Morning a voice booms out… “ Morning Mate ! You here for the Yamaha Race Experience? “

“Nah, Mate… I’m just lost”…… Shit ! If I’d been thinking that’s what I would have come out with… but as usual mouth slipped into drive before brain engaged…”Erm… Yes” stammered I…..

“Good Oh… brew’s on in the shed” responds this child of about 20….. “Feck!” Mutters I …

Now I’m feckin’ doomed! No escape and seeing all the extras from Mad Max spannering up a lethal collection of missiles thinly disguised, as motorcycles did nothing to settle my queasy stomach.

Haha.. at least I won’t be the biggest Muppet out there ‘cause the Fat Ginger One, Fat Tall One and Streak’O can’t be that good…… can they?

Wrong!……. Turns out Lank has been sneaking some practice sessions in…Gingerbollix seems to have been a bit handy on an off road bike back in his day… and Streak’O is just feckin’ young and therefore good at everything… I’d been done up like a Kipper…

Now, I’ve got enough movement back in my hands and arms I can tell you what it felt like….. imagine being thrown in the back of Concrete mixer with a load of bricks for company?… That’s how I felt afterwards…. Completely and utterly fecked!

Great day lads! Honest… I’m up for it again…shall we say 2012?
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Old 16-06-2007, 04:12 PM   #2
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Gingerbollix seems to have been a bit handy on an off road bike back in his day…

"Back in my day"!!!! how ferkin old do you think I am then Grandad?
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Old 16-06-2007, 04:22 PM   #3
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Why does my arse hurt today?
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Old 16-06-2007, 04:24 PM   #4
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Why does my arse hurt today?

What you lot got up to in the evening after the event should only be talked about between yourselves i think!
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Old 16-06-2007, 05:40 PM   #5
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Why does my arse hurt today?
I hate to agree with Mr Rob, but!
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Old 16-06-2007, 06:06 PM   #6
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What you lot got up to in the evening after the event should only be talked about between yourselves i think!

He went into Brighton, and visited Lord Kennett at his house.

All sorts goes on in Brighton ya know!

I have to admit, my legs are a little achey today, must be getting too old for all this stuff.

1) Me

2) Lanky bollox Kennett (who made the Yamaha WR250 look like a moped)
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Old 16-06-2007, 07:34 PM   #7
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I am impressed JF...................very
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Old 16-06-2007, 07:58 PM   #8
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I have no idea what you lot are whinnying on about. I feel fine!

The biggest shock of the day was seeing Jono "I ride a GS like Ewan and Charley rode round the world on, oh and I want an HP2 to add to the warehouse full of dirt bikes that I own" reduced to a simpering blouse at the thought of gently tootling round a muddy track!

The FGT rode true to form. Fast and flamboyant, in between eating mud and picking his bike up. He was easy to keep track of by the cloud of red mist following him around.

Quote of the day from the instructor after JF was first out of the 15 people there to give his bike a little lie down: "See, the problem with him is he rides too fast because he thinks he's better than he really is!"

All in all a rather good day out I reckon
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Old 16-06-2007, 08:02 PM   #9
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Oh, ought to mention that we were all totally shown up by 11 year old Ryan who was celebrating his birthday by lapping us all one-handed . . .
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Old 16-06-2007, 08:07 PM   #10
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There's two 'O's in 'too'.



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The FGT rode true to form. Fast and flamboyant, in between eating mud and picking his bike up
Too Troo!

But......The alternative, of going round so slow that you never leave the ground, but maintain ones composure & a clean bib, isn't 'my way', I'm more ya 'crash n burn' idiot type of biker. And...If ya didn't fall off in those conditions (ferkin slippery) you were either a pro, or you weren't tryin ard enough!!....which catergory did you fall into?

Kennetts 'High speed Aerial display'.
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Old 16-06-2007, 09:23 PM   #11
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...The biggest shock of the day was seeing Jono "I ride a GS like Ewan and Charley rode round the world on, oh and I want an HP2 to add to the warehouse full of dirt bikes that I own" reduced to a simpering blouse at the thought of gently tootling round a muddy track!...
Oi ! Why you pickin' on me fatty? All I suggested was that you need to ride summat like an HP2 'cause frankly you look like a bit of a tit on a normal sized bike..is all... Kind of reminded me of "Little Weed" in the flowerpot men... you know? The oversized sun flower in the little pot?

...and as for the GS being an off road bike? Feckin' 'ell you'd have to be a proper hero to take a bike off road that weighs nearly as much as you do Oh Fat One.....and I mean without the full BBC back up kind of thing....

Oh yeah?.. and another thing, since we're dishing the dirt... who's Teacher's Pet then? "Sir, Sir look at me.. I'm listening to you, Sir ... look at me I'm practicing the things you told us...Sir, Sir..look at me..." Tell the class how many times you've been for lessons there....
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Old 16-06-2007, 10:34 PM   #12
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You decide... family resemblance?
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Old 17-06-2007, 01:01 AM   #13
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Don't get stressed Jono, take no notice of the FLT, it's just his way.
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Old 17-06-2007, 08:37 AM   #14
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There's two 'O's in 'too'.
True to form, he rode too fast. Or was it another reference somewhere that I missed?
Quote:
Kennetts 'High speed Aerial display'.
I said you would have to wait for me to catch up!

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Old 17-06-2007, 08:43 AM   #15
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Tell the class how many times you've been for lessons there....
OK, I'll fess up. I've been there before. Once. A year and a bit ago. I'd like to think that if I did it more often I'd manage to get round the track at faster than walking pace!

Hey, if I'm Weed then we know who you and the FGT are!
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Old 17-06-2007, 09:02 AM   #16
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True to form, he rode too fast. Or was it another reference somewhere that I missed?
That's cheating!!!

I knew you being an Administrator would come back to bite my arse!
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Old 17-06-2007, 09:17 AM   #17
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That's cheating!!!

I knew you being an Administrator would come back to bight my arse!
Haven't edited anything. And it's "bite" . . .
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Old 17-06-2007, 09:22 AM   #18
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