Boatmad.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 14-04-2005, 11:04 AM   #1
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
more jokes

Yeah, I had a call today asking me to take part in a marathon! I said 'No way', but then I heard it was for Spastics and Blind kids!...I thought, ..f*ck it, I could win that!
__________________

__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:01 PM   #2
Traveling
 
Country: UK
Location: Alderholt
Occupation: Aerospace
Boat name: T/T D2S
Boat make: Midas 27' Cat, Argo 16 Cat. Avon Rib Thingy
Engines: Merc 280-ROS -JSRE,65Xs, 75 Stinger, Yam 60
Cruising area: Any Seedy Bar

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Alderholt
Posts: 4,225
Alright then


What do you call a welshman with a stick up his bum ?
__________________

BluFin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:01 PM   #3
Traveling
 
Country: UK
Location: Alderholt
Occupation: Aerospace
Boat name: T/T D2S
Boat make: Midas 27' Cat, Argo 16 Cat. Avon Rib Thingy
Engines: Merc 280-ROS -JSRE,65Xs, 75 Stinger, Yam 60
Cruising area: Any Seedy Bar

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Alderholt
Posts: 4,225
"A TAFFY APPLE"
BluFin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:06 PM   #4
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
JF's joke reminds me of:

Bloke rings upo the guiness book of records demanding he is entered into this years edition.........

"I've just completed this puzzle in under 6 months"..exclaimed the man

"whats so wonderfull about that sir?"

"it says 4-6 years on the box" !!!!!!!!!!!1

boom boom boom
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:08 PM   #5
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
Re: more jokes

Quote:
Originally posted by Johnson
f*ck it, I could win that!
yeh........but they'd have top give you a running start
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:12 PM   #6
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Yeah, alright Seb!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:14 PM   #7
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
thats why my bruvs called seb..............and in my slimmer days i used to run 1500 & cross country!

I must have been at beavers
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:16 PM   #8
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and Lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and, with an even greater effort he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony he would thought of himself already in heaven, for here, spread out on waxed paper on the kitchen table were dozens of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven?

Or was it one final act of devoted love from his beloved wife of Sixty years, making sure he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table Landing on his knees in a crumpled posture, his parched lips parted, he could almost taste the scones before they were in his mouth seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand reached its way to the nearest scone at the edge of the table when a spatula suddenly hit him on the hand.

"F**k off" shouted his wife

"They're for the funeral!"
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:16 PM   #9
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Quote:
Originally posted by Captain Chaos
I must have been at beavers
More like 'Porkies'!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:17 PM   #10
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
And you're only fkkn 12!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:22 PM   #11
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
I'll take oodles of fatboy abuse from Matt or the Uk (Midlands region) garbage diposal expert................but its rich comming from you & Tony!

12? that old..........thats great time to out the lego and upgrade to mechano!
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:33 PM   #12
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
ahh, but the 'age' bit is all important!..........remember my old pics tubby boy!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:38 PM   #13
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
how can i forget those shorts!

go on...............slap that crusader picture up again........its been atleast 3 weeks
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:40 PM   #14
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
No!,.. you don't deserve me
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:47 PM   #15
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
i'll trade you a copy of "Hooper" thats just arrived today!
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:49 PM   #16
Registered User
 
Rogue Wave's Avatar
 
Country: Wales
Location: Southampton
Occupation: boat driver/Instructor
Interests: boats , laughing and music
Boat name: Dyna Mo Humm
Boat make: Avon Searider 8.4mmmm
Engines: Cat 4216 450hp
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southampton
Posts: 983
that funeral joke is truly on eof my favourites!
__________________
when I grow up I wanna be Tony Davis
Rogue Wave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 12:52 PM   #17
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
oldn's are the bestn's
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 01:48 PM   #18
Registered User
 
Rogue Wave's Avatar
 
Country: Wales
Location: Southampton
Occupation: boat driver/Instructor
Interests: boats , laughing and music
Boat name: Dyna Mo Humm
Boat make: Avon Searider 8.4mmmm
Engines: Cat 4216 450hp
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southampton
Posts: 983
Absolutely

That's what I keep trying to convince the totty anyway!
__________________
when I grow up I wanna be Tony Davis
Rogue Wave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-04-2005, 02:08 PM   #19
Registered User
 
Country: UK
Location: Wiltshire
Occupation: Fool
Boat make: Scorpion RIB

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Wiltshire
Posts: 148
There once was a religious young woman who went to confession.

Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"



The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face"
__________________

__________________
Make Poetry History
Brambles is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×