Boatmad.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 13-04-2005, 08:51 AM   #1
Senior Member
 
Adam's Avatar
 
Country: England
Location: Warsash
Occupation: Boat Designer
Interests: sport
Boat name: Santana

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Warsash
Posts: 1,838
New words for 2005

New words for 2005
TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSH*T - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McSh*t with Lies.
BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive woman.


I'm sure everyone can relate to some of these!!
__________________

Adam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-04-2005, 08:58 AM   #2
Chief C*nt!
 
Johnny Rocket's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: Brighton
Occupation: Sparkler prefect
Interests: Boats
Boat make: Other people's mostly

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 872
Re: New words for 2005

Quote:
Originally posted by Adam
I'm sure everyone can relate to some of these!!
Jonny the Wax is dead.
Long live Jonny-no-stars!

__________________

__________________
What could possibly go wrong?
Johnny Rocket is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-04-2005, 09:07 AM   #3
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Re: New words for 2005

Quote:
Originally posted by Adam
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence,
Spose that'll be me then!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-04-2005, 09:41 AM   #4
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
Absolutely top! Had me laughing out loud and now the other buggers in the offices know I'm not actually working....
__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-04-2005, 10:47 AM   #5
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,291
brightend up my already rather forgetfull morning
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-04-2005, 12:11 PM   #6
Registered User
 
Rogue Wave's Avatar
 
Country: Wales
Location: Southampton
Occupation: boat driver/Instructor
Interests: boats , laughing and music
Boat name: Dyna Mo Humm
Boat make: Avon Searider 8.4mmmm
Engines: Cat 4216 450hp
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southampton
Posts: 983
Excellent. Assmosis!
__________________

__________________
when I grow up I wanna be Tony Davis
Rogue Wave is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:36 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×