I have no idea what you mean Mr. 2.
This is a completely original idea which occurred to me as I scrubbed the shebeen this very evening
Missus
( I am sifting through the suggestions and will summarise in my own unique fashion as soon as I have washed Jackso's jocks...)
OK here's the list so far...
1) All Boatmadders shall apply for a signed photo of JF’s banjo. This will need to be kissed on a regular basis to promote respect. Please ensure the photo is not from someone’s private collection (we are not happy about recent thefts from our downstairs loo….probably the fekkin pirates again)
2) Please wear uniform when posting. In the gArfish’s case his last prison outfit will do. Hardboaters should wear ski outfits so we can ask about their holidays. Ribnobbers must wear full drysuit & lifejacket as the toilet could easily burst its banks and flood the living room while a devoted Ribster is spilling out their guts online. WAFIs may post as nature intended.
3) If you have a virus or a worm at the moment go down the chemist. Don’t phone the coastguard as they have a few troubles of their own.
4) You are not to tork TO EACH OTHER. This constitutes conversation and is frowned upon. Random Bollix is ideal.
5) For the last time NO RUDE STUFF. Keep your norty pics under the mattresses like dacent people do. That bit applies to men as ye have disgusting minds. The bollix is a lot cleaner nowadays...
6) Boating is not meant to be fun. It’s a serious matter and don’t even bother posting unless you pass the entry exam. This will require you to take apart the engine of a lawnmower, marinise it and stick it on the back of a boat. You will then need to fit a faulty speedo and drag the family out for hours of suffering on the water so you can bump up yer stats.
7) Stuffing is not just for Christmas. Keep up.
8) A manifold isn’t what they get on their lickle tummies from too many beers.
9) No fekkin swearwords.
10) No laughing. I can fekkin hear you !!!
11) No drinking and posting if you have a dial up…too much work
12) Rogue Wave sort your own back garden out before you come over here criticising mine.
13) If you have irregular toilet habits (you know who you are) try standing instead of sitting (ON THE RIB!!!!!). Works wonders!!!!
14) Flog your ould junk on EBay or down the car boot like all respectable people.
Please submit any other rules as they occur to you. All will be considered and even may be included …
Be advised that no-one will follow them anyway. Hey it’s a Bollix forum!!!!
Missus
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Missus S.O.B.
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