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Old 22-08-2011, 08:59 PM   #1
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Keanaz's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat name: Rib Tastic
Boat make: Cobra Rib Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Marina 225, Yam70 (x2) & Stinger 75
Cruising area: South West

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 701
Some funnies:

A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door and asked if I had any old clothing.
I said yes, but asked what I would get in return. She said I could play with her breasts.

I thought, that’s fair, tit for tat.
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I’m in trouble with the wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what I would like to do most with her body.

Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer.
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Why men shouldn’t be Agony aunts.

Dear Phil
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start. I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19
year old babysitter. They announced that the affair had been going on for two years. Can you help me…I’m desperate.Dear Reader
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps.Phil.
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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought…Sod it….soldier on.
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Just said to the missus…”Hey fat gut..what do you want for Valentines Day”
She said “Don’t get f*cking lippy”
I said “Mascara it is then!”
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I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.
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Man shagging 30 stone woman. He says “Can we have the light switched off?” She said “Why? Do you find me repulsive?” He said “ No….it’s burning my bum”.
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Keanaz
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