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Old 21-12-2011, 06:35 PM   #1
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Keanaz's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
some funnies,,,,,,

A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door and asked if I had any old clothing.
I said yes, but asked what I would get in return. She said I could play with her breasts.





I thought, that’s fair, tit for tat.

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I’m in trouble with the wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what
I would like to do most with her body.

Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer.

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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she
killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought…Sod
it….soldier on.

---------------------------------------------------

Just said to the missus…”Hey fat gut..what do you want for Valentines Day”
She said “Don’t get f*cking lippy”
I said “Mascara it is then!”

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I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Norwegian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie,
a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian,
an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a
Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a
Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked
into a pub. The bouncer says “Sorry.. I can’t let you in without a
Thai”.

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Man shagging 30 stone woman. He says “Can we have the light switched
off?” She said “Why? Do you find me repulsive?” He said “ No….it’s
burning my bum”.

--------------------------------------------------------------

You won’t hear from me for a while mate. Being investigated for
stealing swimming pool inflatables……..I gotta lilo.



Keanaz
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