Boatmad.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 15-09-2015, 10:45 AM   #1
Aged Member
 
DAVE's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: HAMPSHIRE
Occupation: Desk Jockey
Boat name: Voodoo Doll
Boat make: Sea Ray 270 Sundancer
Engines: Merc inboards
Cruising area: SOLENT

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: HAMPSHIRE
Posts: 772
The Last Kiss

Back on January 9th, a group of Peking, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.


George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"


While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either so he asked..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed
__________________

__________________
Land was invented to give boats somewhere to visit
DAVE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2015, 07:58 PM   #2
Registered User
 
Keanaz's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat name: Rib Tastic
Boat make: Cobra Rib Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Marina 225, Yam70 (x2) & Stinger 75
Cruising area: South West

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 703
On his 75th birthday, a man was with presented with a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a distant reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he travelled to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,
"This is powerful medicine and it must be respected.
You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'.
When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged.
As he walked away, he turned and asked,
"How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4',"
he responded.
"But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
The old gent was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,
"1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife, excited, began throwing off her clothes.
And then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Keanaz is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:33 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×