Thursday Jokes:
My American wife made fun of me because I use the metric system. So I beat her within 2.54 cm of her life.
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I phoned the police the other day. "What's your emergency?" they asked. I said "Two girls are fighting over me" "Okay" she paused "well what's the problem?" "The fat one's winning!"
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I was showing the doctor my badly bruised penis and he asked me how I did it, I told him it was a surfing accident. "Did you fall off your surfboard?" he asked "No" I said "The wife came in and I had to slam the laptop shut!"
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The wife suggested we use some toys in the bedroom to make things more fun. She wasn't too impressed though the ungrateful bitch... three ******* hours it took me to set up that Scalextric.
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This morning i thought I'd play a little joke on my girlfriend so i swapped her tampons with party poppers... absolutely no sense of humour that girl.
Keanaz
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