Boatmad.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 15-01-2008, 02:58 PM   #1
Registered User
 
Tony Davis's Avatar
 
Country: Job Centre
Location: In a box
Occupation: Chaos's gofer
Interests: Skiving
Boat make: Spectre 30
Engines: 2 x Promax 225
Cruising area: In the bath

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In a box
Posts: 5,201
You couldn't write it.

Last Saturday evening, around midnight, Mr Rob comes rushing into my room to tell me that there are men on my driveway with torches, I think he though someone was trying to steal his boat.

I got outside, and find 2 policemen, who have been following a horse as it walked up our road. They ask if it's ours, but how would I know, they all look the same to me.

Vicki comes out, and says no, it isn't ours, so the officer asks if we could look after it for a while, so vicki grabs it by the hairy bit on the back of it's head, and sticks it in a stable!

The police take my contact details, and go.

The horse (midnight) the girls have already named it, seems quite happy living indoors, plenty of food and shelter.

This afternoon, I get a knock on the door, and a guy asks if i have his horse, so I say that I may have, what's it look like. He says it's not actually his, it's his mates and he'll be back in a while with him. I say that's fine and that I'll call the police to let them know. This doesn't go down to well, but I explain that as far as I'm concerned I'm looking after it for the Dorset Police.

While he's gone, I phone the wife, ask for her opinion on the correct thing to do, and then I ring the police. After being sent to different departments, I'm telling the story to an officer when I look through the window, and see that not only has the guy driven back with his mate, but the policeman from Saturday has pulled up as well.

I hang up after explaining what's happening, and go out to join in the fun. I say to the policeman, what a coincidence, you turning up just as the owner of the horse does, and he pulls me to one side and says they have pulled up because they've been looking for the driver and his mate for an alleged shop lifting incident at the end of my road.

An hour later the police confirm that the guy is almost certainly the owner of the horse, and says he's happy for me to hand it over...

as the officer is leaving, he comments on my F150, saying what a nice truck, I bet it's lively, and was I aware that my road tax had expired.

Luckily, it's off road and SORN.
__________________

__________________
Chaos for Moderator.
Tony Davis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 04:02 PM   #2
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
MMM.. I reckon the story goes more like this….

"Last Saturday evening, around midnight, Mr Rob comes rushing into my room to tell me that there are men on my driveway with torches, I think he though someone was trying to take back the Horse he’d nicked from a field down the road, since I told him we hadn’t got much fresh meat in the fridge for his usual Kebabs..

I got outside, and find 2 policemen, who have been following the horse as it walked up our road. They ask if it's ours, but I deny everything.. but since I’m a shifty looking character I can tell they don’t believe a word of it..

Vicki comes out, and backs up my story…she looks so innocent that the fuzz are satisfied and Vicki then stashes it in a shed till the heats dies down…

The police eye me up suspiciously, and go….

The horse (Donner) the girls have already named it, seems quite happy living indoors, plenty of food and shelter..and well out of the way of Mr Rob

This afternoon, I get a knock on the door, and a guy asks if i have his horse, so I say that I may have, what's it look like. He says it's not actually his, it's his mates and he'll be back in a while with him. I say that's fine and for fifty quid and a spot o’ tarmac he can have the fecka’ back. . This doesn't go down to well, but I explain that as far as I'm concerned it’s finders keepers….

While he's gone, I phone the wife, ask for her to back up my alibi, and then I ring the police. After being sent to different departments, I'm telling the story to an officer when I look through the window, and see that not only has the guy driven back with his mate, but the policeman from Saturday has pulled up as well. Now I think that the game’s up…

I hang up after explaining what's happening, and go out to join in the fun. I say to the policeman, what a coincidence, you turning up just as the owner of the horse does, and he pulls me to one side and says they have pulled up because they've been looking for a large, hungry bloke seen loitering in the area and were frightened for the Horse’s well-being..

An hour later the police confirm that the guy is almost certainly the owner of the horse, and says he's happy for me to hand it over...

as the officer is leaving, he comments on my F150, saying what a nice truck, I bet it's lively…..

Luckily, it's got a photocopied tax disc on it."
__________________

Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 05:25 PM   #3
Registered User
 
freedom's Avatar
 
Country: engalnd
Location: south west
Interests: ski racing
Boat name: Jack'd up, hellraiser
Boat make: Bernico 19 ET, ring 16
Engines: merc 135, merc 175, yam 90
Cruising area: Plymouth

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: south west
Posts: 1,170
glad to hear the horse is back to its owner
but bet the girls were a little gutted
and what was this with the shop lifting, you seemed a little vaugue with what actually happened there
freedom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 05:38 PM   #4
Registered User
 
cfun's Avatar
 
Country: uk
Location: poole
Occupation: retail
Interests: sport and being lazy
Boat make: ring rib
Engines: merc xr2
Cruising area: bournemouth bay

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: poole
Posts: 1,681
Jono...Nice one very amusing
__________________
i can na give her any more captain
cfun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 05:53 PM   #5
Registered User
 
gazza's Avatar
 
Occupation: Champion Pie Eater
Boat name: On The Rocks
Boat make: Ring 21 marshan 17 four winns horizon, hydro 3 pointer, f2 cat, backdraft 22
Cruising area: Way up norf and Sarf coast areas

Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,618
Tony's version is interesting, but Jono's is
How does Rob's version go?
gaZ
gazza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 06:21 PM   #6
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
Quote:
Originally Posted by gazza View Post
....How does Rob's version go?
gaZ

Oh, that’s easy…..

“I was on me way to Tony’s gaff and he told me the fridge was empty…so as I was passing a field I saw an Horse that looked like it would make a pie or two..so I had it away on me toes with this nag, but unfortunately the local filth saw me and followed me up to the mansion…so I ditched the Horse with this bit of stuff that was shacked up at Tubby’s and made myself scarce like…dunno what else happened ‘cause I found Tubby’s secret stash of red wine and porn in his shed……and the rest of the weekend was a bit of a blur…”
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 06:31 PM   #7
on the rocks
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
  Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 08:26 PM   #8
Registered User
 
Tony Davis's Avatar
 
Country: Job Centre
Location: In a box
Occupation: Chaos's gofer
Interests: Skiving
Boat make: Spectre 30
Engines: 2 x Promax 225
Cruising area: In the bath

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In a box
Posts: 5,201
I don't keep wine in the shed!
__________________
Chaos for Moderator.
Tony Davis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 10:02 PM   #9
Registered User
 
MrRob's Avatar
 
Country: England
Location: Birmingham
Occupation: Scratching
Interests: Big Dinners
Boat name: Never Enough
Boat make: Seaquel 600xs
Engines: 225hp Merc ProMax
Cruising area: Anywhere! I prefer Weymouth

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 3,232
Send a message via AIM to MrRob
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jono View Post
Oh, that’s easy…..

“I was on me way to Tony’s gaff and he told me the fridge was empty…so as I was passing a field I saw an Horse that looked like it would make a pie or two..so I had it away on me toes with this nag, but unfortunately the local filth saw me and followed me up to the mansion…so I ditched the Horse with this bit of stuff that was shacked up at Tubby’s and made myself scarce like…dunno what else happened ‘cause I found Tubby’s secret stash of red wine and porn in his shed……and the rest of the weekend was a bit of a blur…”

You promised not to tell anyone!
__________________
I got jumper cables!
MrRob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2008, 10:08 PM   #10
Registered User
 
MrRob's Avatar
 
Country: England
Location: Birmingham
Occupation: Scratching
Interests: Big Dinners
Boat name: Never Enough
Boat make: Seaquel 600xs
Engines: 225hp Merc ProMax
Cruising area: Anywhere! I prefer Weymouth

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 3,232
Send a message via AIM to MrRob
This version of events rings the truest only Jono forgot to mention that Tony was crackin' a fat when I rushed in to his bedroom.
In all seriousness I found it all very odd! I guess its because I am from Birmingham and this kind of caper normally involves someone getting shot or stabbed or something you own is about to go missing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jono View Post
MMM.. I reckon the story goes more like this….

"Last Saturday evening, around midnight, Mr Rob comes rushing into my room to tell me that there are men on my driveway with torches, I think he though someone was trying to take back the Horse he’d nicked from a field down the road, since I told him we hadn’t got much fresh meat in the fridge for his usual Kebabs..

I got outside, and find 2 policemen, who have been following the horse as it walked up our road. They ask if it's ours, but I deny everything.. but since I’m a shifty looking character I can tell they don’t believe a word of it..

Vicki comes out, and backs up my story…she looks so innocent that the fuzz are satisfied and Vicki then stashes it in a shed till the heats dies down…

The police eye me up suspiciously, and go….

The horse (Donner) the girls have already named it, seems quite happy living indoors, plenty of food and shelter..and well out of the way of Mr Rob

This afternoon, I get a knock on the door, and a guy asks if i have his horse, so I say that I may have, what's it look like. He says it's not actually his, it's his mates and he'll be back in a while with him. I say that's fine and for fifty quid and a spot o’ tarmac he can have the fecka’ back. . This doesn't go down to well, but I explain that as far as I'm concerned it’s finders keepers….

While he's gone, I phone the wife, ask for her to back up my alibi, and then I ring the police. After being sent to different departments, I'm telling the story to an officer when I look through the window, and see that not only has the guy driven back with his mate, but the policeman from Saturday has pulled up as well. Now I think that the game’s up…

I hang up after explaining what's happening, and go out to join in the fun. I say to the policeman, what a coincidence, you turning up just as the owner of the horse does, and he pulls me to one side and says they have pulled up because they've been looking for a large, hungry bloke seen loitering in the area and were frightened for the Horse’s well-being..

An hour later the police confirm that the guy is almost certainly the owner of the horse, and says he's happy for me to hand it over...

as the officer is leaving, he comments on my F150, saying what a nice truck, I bet it's lively…..

Luckily, it's got a photocopied tax disc on it."
__________________

__________________
I got jumper cables!
MrRob is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.