Boatmad.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 02-02-2005, 04:01 PM   #1
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
Why RIBs are better than "hardboats"...

1) When people see you in a RIB they don’t automatically assume you’re from Essex.

2) You can do more than 20 hours a year boating.

3) It isn’t a crisis if a slight swell develops over the bar.

4) You don’t have to have a boat name with sexual connotations

5) No one assumes that your boat is compensation for having a small penis

6) It isn’t a disaster if Specsavers aren’t doing a two for one offer on prescription RayBans

7) With plenty of room for all you don’t have to limit the number of your friends you invite out onto your boat to the level of your IQ

8) You can nip across the Channel/Irish Sea/Dover straits without having to panic.

9) You can have a greater cruising distance because you are not obliged to tow a skier/donut/banana wherever you go

10) …and you can always offer to be safety boat to tow home yet another broken piece of Tupperware… :hugegrin2
__________________

__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 04:25 PM   #2
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Re: Why RIBs are better than "hardboats"...

Quote:
Originally posted by Jono
4) You don’t have to have a boat name with sexual connotations
What, like "Ribbed for Extra Pleasure"!

As for the rest....bollix!
__________________

Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 04:48 PM   #3
Jon
Senior Member
 
Jon's Avatar
 
Country: ENGLAND
Occupation: Prime Minister
Interests: Being Rude.
Cruising area: Kings Road

Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 793
Fair play Jono,

No. 5 is your only valid point though. Good point all the same.
__________________
Bites & shits like a Bulldog.
Jon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 04:52 PM   #4
Jon
Senior Member
 
Jon's Avatar
 
Country: ENGLAND
Occupation: Prime Minister
Interests: Being Rude.
Cruising area: Kings Road

Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 793
Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".
__________________
Bites & shits like a Bulldog.
Jon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 08:09 PM   #5
Registered User
 
glen76's Avatar
 
Country: england
Location: southampton
Occupation: engineer
Interests: lots
Boat make: scorpion 8.1
Engines: 250HO
Cruising area: solent

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: southampton
Posts: 1,338
Quote:
Originally posted by R-Don
Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".

in your telly tubby suit you have to wear evertime you go out. where else
glen76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 11:37 PM   #6
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
Quote:
Originally posted by R-Don
Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".
Nah... yer missin' the point! Coz you got a RIB yer obviously a fine, upstanding member of society... not some dodgey Essex geezer.... the filth ain't gonna bother with no Ribnobba.....
__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 12:18 AM   #7
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Quote:
Originally posted by Jono
Nah... yer missin' the point! Coz you got a RIB yer obviously a fine, upstanding member of society... not some dodgey Essex geezer.... the filth ain't gonna bother with no Ribnobba.....

Mmmmmnnnn! Wasn't there recently a certain rib builder who got in a wee bit of trouble, building ribs for 'moving things about', and mebbe even moovin em about himself?

upstanding, my arse! ..yer all crooks


Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 12:38 AM   #8
Gav
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,724
Send a message via Skype™ to Gav
Exclamation

Well i,m converted!

Its OBVIOUSLY the boat to be seen in, and my image needs uplifting so feck it, im converting to the ole rib thing now.

Ive spent all evening melting down rubber bands on the stove, and alas here it is..............

The all New SEA-RIB NoBbAmoTioN 4000 !:hugegrin2

This hugely impressive craft is sporting the latest in tooob technology, made purely from 100% recycled elastic bands and the hull from the finest re-blend available.............

yours for about only 20% more than an old phantom 28

Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	pisstake.jpg
Views:	364
Size:	45.0 KB
ID:	2855  
Gav is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 09:26 AM   #9
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
Jonny…..

...now I don’t want to cast aspersions, but did you notice that the wife of the fella in question, neatly stepped in whilst her hubby was incarcerated… luckily taking over the whole profitable business…. This was just after the hubby had complained to the builder that all the stair rails in his house had worked loose and there were lots of crackling noises from the plug when he went to plug in his electric razor….. and shortly after he’d taken his car back to the garage ‘cause there appeared to be a pool of what looked like brake fluid on the drive that morning……


Gav..

...top attempt… but I don’t see one vital option on your new boat… where’s the display cabinet for all your certificates going to go?
__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 09:50 AM   #10
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
ere Gav, the front seats in ya 'rib' look a little.......random in their positioning!
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 10:00 AM   #11
BananaShark Member
 
Cookee's Avatar
 
Country: UK
Location: Salcombe South Devon
Occupation: Racer and builder
Interests: Winning races
Boat name: BananaShark
Boat make: BananaShark 34' Race
Engines: Twin Yanmar BY 260's

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Salcombe South Devon
Posts: 4,632
Quote:
Originally posted by Jono
[B]Jonny…..

...now I don’t want to cast aspersions, but did you notice that the wife of the fella in question, neatly stepped in whilst her hubby was incarcerated…
Well I had heard that the transport company responsible moving the boats about had taken over the business and doing things legit now - even paying all the VAT and tax!
__________________
Cookee



British Champions! RIB Formula 1 2005
National Speed Record Holder at 90.15 (still)

www.bananasharkracing.com
Cookee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 10:23 AM   #12
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
..Cooks... it was an attempt at humour..
__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 01:38 PM   #13
hello
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,739
Why family saloons are better than super cars:

1) When people see you in a family saloon they don’t automatically assume you’re from Essex.

2) You can do more than 20 hours a year driving.

3) It isn’t a crisis if it starts raining.

4) No one assumes that your car is compensation for having a small penis.

5) It isn’t a disaster if Specsavers aren’t doing a two for one offer on prescription RayBans.

6) With plenty of room for all you don’t have to limit the number of your friends you invite out for a drive to the level of your IQ.

7) You can nip across the country without having to panic.

8) You can have a greater cruising distance because you haven't sacrificed mpg over mph.

9) …and you can always offer to tow home yet another broken piece of Tinware.

JamesM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 01:45 PM   #14
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,016
__________________
“Never try to wrestle a pig” ™ The Sparkler Prefect
Jono is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 01:51 PM   #15
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
Very good!

So a Performance Hardboat is a Lambourgini Diablo, Ferrari F40, or Aston Martin Vanquish.

And,

A RIB is a Ford Corshair, Vauxhaul Gay Cavalier, or Triumph Harold

__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 02:25 PM   #16
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,268
Quote:
Originally posted by Jonny
ere Gav, the front seats in ya 'rib' look a little.......random in their positioning!
Jonny, I think you'll find that Gavs a short-ass and at the time the photo was taken he was strumping some leggy tart
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 02:27 PM   #17
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
OK, I accept that, but why aren't they straight? (In line with the boat)

Looks like 'occasional' furniture! (occasionally it's straight)
__________________
.

"I Agree with everything you say really!" - John Cooke to Jon Fuller - 26-01-2013
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 02:30 PM   #18
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,268
looks straight enough to me...............lets get an ariel of Leviathan and critique that!

the only "occasionally straight" thing round these parts is Matt
Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 02:39 PM   #19
numbskull
 
Jon Fuller's Avatar
 
Country: United Kingdom
Location: South
Occupation: none
Interests: none
Boat name: Leviathan
Boat make: Phantom 28
Cruising area: South Coast

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South
Posts: 15,959
OK
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	dscf0121.jpg
Views:	298
Size:	60.0 KB
ID:	2859  
Jon Fuller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2005, 02:42 PM   #20
The Doc
 
Captain Chaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 8,268
blinkin eck, you got some front.............your whole boats pist!

but i still want one................git!
__________________

Captain Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×