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Old 14-10-2008, 09:09 PM   #1
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Country: England
Location: Hampshire
Occupation: Credit Crunched
Interests: Rally Driving
Boat name: Double 2 Shirts
Boat make: Planatec 41
Engines: 2x625's+ From Uncle Sam
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 2,522
Chaos - I Care

MENTAL HOSPITAL



PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling

The NHS County Mental Hospital .

Please select from the following



options menu:




If you are

obsessive-compulsive,

press 1 repeatedly.



If you are

co-dependent,

please ask someone to press 2 for you.



If you have

multiple personalities,

press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are

paranoid,

we know who you are and what you want,

stay on the line so we can trace your call.



If you are

delusional,

press 7 and your call will be forwarded

to the Mother Ship.



If you are

schizophrenic,

listen carefully

and a little voice will tell You which number to press.



If you are

manic-depressive,

hang up.

It doesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.


If you are

dyslexic,

press 9-6-9-6.



If you are

bipolar,

please leave a message after the beep

or before the beep or after the beep.

But Please wait for the beep.



If you have

short-term memory loss,

press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



If you have

low self-esteem,

please hang up.

Our operators are too busy to talk with you.


If you are

menopausal,

put the gun down,

hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

You won't be crazy forever.



If You ARE

blonde,

don't press any buttons.

You'll just mess it up.


This coming week is

National Mental Health Care Week.

You can do your part by remembering

to contact at least

one unstable person to show you care.
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Old 14-10-2008, 09:18 PM   #2
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Posts: 8,291
thankyou martin, I always knew you did
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Old 14-10-2008, 09:47 PM   #3
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Country: England
Location: Hampshire
Occupation: Credit Crunched
Interests: Rally Driving
Boat name: Double 2 Shirts
Boat make: Planatec 41
Engines: 2x625's+ From Uncle Sam
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 2,522
There's alot of love in this Forum
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Old 14-10-2008, 10:05 PM   #4
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Pash 1's Avatar
 
Country: England
Location: Hampshire
Occupation: Credit Crunched
Interests: Rally Driving
Boat name: Double 2 Shirts
Boat make: Planatec 41
Engines: 2x625's+ From Uncle Sam
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 2,522
MOTIVATOR I care about you too
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Old 15-10-2008, 12:24 AM   #5
Engine tester
 
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Country: united kingdom
Location: Southend on Sea
Occupation: Construction
Interests: Gin & Women
Boat name: motorvator
Boat make: Revenger San Marino / Sunseeker Camargue 46 / Phantom 18/19/600
Engines: 502 mercruiser / Detroit 550s / 115 ProXS / Anything Borrowed
Cruising area: Thames, Southend

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southend on Sea
Posts: 1,021
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pash 1 View Post
MOTIVATOR I care about you too
OK I'll admit that wierded me out
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Old 15-10-2008, 08:58 AM   #6
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Pash,

Youre a post whore
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Old 15-10-2008, 09:22 AM   #7
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Pash 1's Avatar
 
Country: England
Location: Hampshire
Occupation: Credit Crunched
Interests: Rally Driving
Boat name: Double 2 Shirts
Boat make: Planatec 41
Engines: 2x625's+ From Uncle Sam
Cruising area: Solent

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 2,522
__________________

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If God can save why cant I, even on my salary?
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