Why RIBs are better than "hardboats"...

[Jono]

1) When people see you in a RIB they don’t automatically assume you’re from Essex.

2) You can do more than 20 hours a year boating.

3) It isn’t a crisis if a slight swell develops over the bar.

4) You don’t have to have a boat name with sexual connotations

5) No one assumes that your boat is compensation for having a small penis

6) It isn’t a disaster if Specsavers aren’t doing a two for one offer on prescription RayBans

7) With plenty of room for all you don’t have to limit the number of your friends you invite out onto your boat to the level of your IQ

8) You can nip across the Channel/Irish Sea/Dover straits without having to panic.

9) You can have a greater cruising distance because you are not obliged to tow a skier/donut/banana wherever you go

10) …and you can always offer to be safety boat to tow home yet another broken piece of Tupperware… :hugegrin2

 

[Jon Fuller]

4) You don’t have to have a boat name with sexual connotations

What, like "Ribbed for Extra Pleasure"!

As for the rest....bollix!

 

[Jon]

Fair play Jono,

No. 5 is your only valid point though. Good point all the same.

 

[Jon]

Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".

 

[glen76]

Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".

in your telly tubby suit you have to wear evertime you go out. where else

 

[Jono]

Where do you hide your Contraband in a rib when the Rozza's arrive?

"Stand aside Sir, id just like to look in that hatch in the floor".

"Now bend over Sir, its gotta be up there".

Nah... yer missin' the point! Coz you got a RIB yer obviously a fine, upstanding member of society... not some dodgey Essex geezer.... the filth ain't gonna bother with no Ribnobba.....

 

[Jon Fuller]

Nah... yer missin' the point! Coz you got a RIB yer obviously a fine, upstanding member of society... not some dodgey Essex geezer.... the filth ain't gonna bother with no Ribnobba.....

Mmmmmnnnn! Wasn't there recently a certain rib builder who got in a wee bit of trouble, building ribs for 'moving things about', and mebbe even moovin em about himself?

upstanding, my arse! ..yer all crooks

 

[Gav]

Well i,m converted!

Its OBVIOUSLY the boat to be seen in, and my image needs uplifting so feck it, im converting to the ole rib thing now.

Ive spent all evening melting down rubber bands on the stove, and alas here it is..............

The all New SEA-RIB NoBbAmoTioN 4000 !:hugegrin2

This hugely impressive craft is sporting the latest in tooob technology, made purely from 100% recycled elastic bands and the hull from the finest re-blend available.............

yours for about only 20% more than an old phantom 28

 

[Jono]

Jonny…..

...now I don’t want to cast aspersions, but did you notice that the wife of the fella in question, neatly stepped in whilst her hubby was incarcerated… luckily taking over the whole profitable business…. This was just after the hubby had complained to the builder that all the stair rails in his house had worked loose and there were lots of crackling noises from the plug when he went to plug in his electric razor….. and shortly after he’d taken his car back to the garage ‘cause there appeared to be a pool of what looked like brake fluid on the drive that morning……


Gav..

...top attempt… but I don’t see one vital option on your new boat… where’s the display cabinet for all your certificates going to go?

 

[Jon Fuller]

ere Gav, the front seats in ya 'rib' look a little.......random in their positioning!

 

[Cookee]

Jonny…..

...now I don’t want to cast aspersions, but did you notice that the wife of the fella in question, neatly stepped in whilst her hubby was incarcerated…

Well I had heard that the transport company responsible moving the boats about had taken over the business and doing things legit now - even paying all the VAT and tax!

 

[Jono]

..Cooks... it was an attempt at humour..

 

[JamesM]

Why family saloons are better than super cars:

1) When people see you in a family saloon they don’t automatically assume you’re from Essex.

2) You can do more than 20 hours a year driving.

3) It isn’t a crisis if it starts raining.

4) No one assumes that your car is compensation for having a small penis.

5) It isn’t a disaster if Specsavers aren’t doing a two for one offer on prescription RayBans.

6) With plenty of room for all you don’t have to limit the number of your friends you invite out for a drive to the level of your IQ.

7) You can nip across the country without having to panic.

8) You can have a greater cruising distance because you haven't sacrificed mpg over mph.

9) …and you can always offer to tow home yet another broken piece of Tinware.

 

[Jono]

 

[Jon Fuller]

Very good!

So a Performance Hardboat is a Lambourgini Diablo, Ferrari F40, or Aston Martin Vanquish.

And,

A RIB is a Ford Corshair, Vauxhaul Gay Cavalier, or Triumph Harold

 

[Captain Chaos]

ere Gav, the front seats in ya 'rib' look a little.......random in their positioning!

Jonny, I think you'll find that Gavs a short-ass and at the time the photo was taken he was strumping some leggy tart

 

[Jon Fuller]

OK, I accept that, but why aren't they straight? (In line with the boat)

Looks like 'occasional' furniture! (occasionally it's straight)

 

[Captain Chaos]

looks straight enough to me...............lets get an ariel of Leviathan and critique that!

the only "occasionally straight" thing round these parts is Matt

 

[Jon Fuller]

OK

 

[Captain Chaos]

blinkin eck, you got some front.............your whole boats pist!

but i still want one................git!